Q. Should I say sorry to a girl that I had feelings for her?

larry52

This looks like one of those questions where the original question is inscrutable, the Quoraverse eventually modifies it and adds detail, more people respond, then the details get modified again so newcomers don't have a clue what they're responding to.

I mean, should I apologize to someone I had feelings for? Seriously? Why would you apologize for having the extreme good taste to have feelings for someone? No, we do not apologize for feelings. We apologize for actions, specifically actions we take that adversely affect someone. Intentionally or otherwise.

Now someone said something about pushing, which can be taken both as literal, physical pushing, or as verbal/emotional pushing. Both of those might be considered actions taken in response to feelings, and both can have adverse effects on the pushee. If that's the case, then yes, apologize.

But this whole business of feeling bad because you have feelings? Dude... yes, some of our cultures make a valiant effort to tell their males that it's unmanly to have emotions, especially tender ones. In my not so humble opinion, that notion is a load of codswallop. Real men love their wives and children, and have the ability to be tender and emotional with them. So if you feel bad for having feelings, it may mean that you've bought into a lie that says that men shouldn't have feelings. Or that feelings constitute weakness, and you should suppress them until you stop feeling them anymore. Again, codswallop.